


He Never Had a Chance

by Insectopedia



Category: Lazy Town, LazyTown
Genre: Basically Robbie is indignant, Everythings gay lol, M/M, Slight fluff, Songfic, Sportacus is oblivious, The kids are rude, Warning: I'm writing this as a side project so it's not the best, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2018-10-22 11:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10696191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insectopedia/pseuds/Insectopedia
Summary: "With a thousand liesAnd a good disguiseHit 'em right between the eyes”(You're gonna go far kid; the offsprings)In other words, Robbie Rotten decides to go to the annual lazy town ball in order to out dance Sportacus and embarrass him out of town. Of course, things don’t go as planned.





	1. Prologue

It was that time of the year again, time for the annual Lazytown Ball. Robbie Rotten had this date  _ specifically _ penned down in his calendar because it was the loudest day of the year. At least, that’s what he claimed. Every year, no matter what, he could always count on being hit with a major depressive episode on that particular day. It didn’t matter how well he was doing the day before because as soon as he heard the sheer  _ happiness _ and rambunctious music coming from above, he’d find himself in his chair binge eating with a scowl. The reason being? He couldn’t stand the holiday. He couldn’t stand their bad tastes in music and their ever so active way of dancing but, more importantly, the lack of invitation he received every year made him sick to his stomach. It was like a kick to his teeth. Then again, it’s not like he could go anyways. He had a reputation of laziness to uphold (but, sometimes, he had to admit that upholding it was a burden). 

This year, however, was going to be a bit different. Robbie hadn’t actively chosen to change the usual routine, oh no no no-he would never! But the opportunity had thrust itself upon him. You see, a few days before the ball, he overheard the kids talking excitedly about it. That wasn’t unusual, in fact they gossipped like that every year and, usually, he would just leave them to prattle on about what kind of dress they would wear and what new moves they had learned (yuck) but this particular year Robbie was so grouchy and so jealous that he was unable to bite back the snarky reply that fell out of his mouth when he heard one of them mention Sportacus dancing at the ball. It would have been against Robbie Rotten’s very nature to not pipe up with a snotty, “HA! As if that elf can even dance I bet he has two left feet!” 

He knew it was a lie Sportacus managed to dance every day but the villain just had to try and spoil their good mood. Surprisingly he did it so well that Trixie responded with that sour little mouth of hers, “Look who’s talking you’ve never danced a day in your life!”

To which Robbie Rotten was left staring agape, sputtering as he tried to explain his sophisticated love of all things music and dance (not that they would understand, they were just  _ children _ afterall) but before he could recover from the absolute audacity of the short asian Stephanie turned to her friend with a sympathetic, “Oh i’m sure Robbie can dance.”

The villain nodding his head violently, yes yes! HE COULD DANCE!

“Everyone can dance” ,she continued oblivious to what she was implying.

Robbie stopped nodding. Everyone? EVERYONE!? Suddenly as red as a tomato Robbie lifted a finger to wag it in the pink one’s face, about to give her the lecture of her LIFE only for Ziggy to call out a ‘Hey let’s play soccer!’ It was so abrupt, so random, but before Robbie could even question it all the kids chimed in their agreement and ran off. So there Robbie sat, alone and angrier then he had been in months. After a moment of just staring after them incredulously, he sputtered and turned on his heel to stalk off, shoulders hunched in fury as he muttered about what they knew and how he would show them.

But how would he show them? That was the question he asked himself when he finally made it back to his lair with the determination to show ALL of them. He knew he had to come up with the absolutely gosh-darn  _ perfect _ scheme to make sure they would never insult him like that again. And, he thought, what was more perfect then if Sportacus left town in the process? The idea brought a slow smirk to his face and that was when he came up with his most ingenious scheme yet. That was also why he woke up bright and early at 3 pm on the day of the annual lazy town ball with none of his usual sadness but with bright eyes and an evil grin.

  
He was gonna dance that fucker out of town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to You're gonna go far kid in the car one day, several months ago, and for some reason this idea popped into my head. I started writing this for fun and I figured that I might as well post it. Due to the fact that i'm working on two other more plot involved fics and this is supposed to be for shits and giggles I might not update this all too much and there might be some grammatical/story telling errors but I hope it's enjoyable despite those things!  
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Man, I never had a chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie shows up to the ball and bites off a little more then he can chew.

Robbie Rotten looked in the mirror for the final time. Or would it be the second to last time? Third? Gahh who knew; the villain turned away while shaking his head. For a second he wondered what had come over him. Going to the Lazytown ball? Dancing in front of everyone? Sure, on the surface his scheme was perfect, yes, but.. would he be able to do it?

“Doubt” Robbie sneered, “Psh who needs doubt when you’re as devilishly handsome as me!”

With a last harrumph, the tall man grabbed his mask off of a nearby table, it was purple velvet with orangey-bronze studs on the tips of it’s cat eyes. The mask matched his crushed purple velvet suit, tie, and top hat (which was adorned with a brown feather). All of which provided a light contrast to the orangey peach shirt he wore under a brown vest and with brown gleaming shoes. He told himself that he was stunning, perfect, that no one would be able to recognize him in his disguise until it was too late (especially since his hair was done in a completely different way, pulled to the right in wavy locks instead of straight in it’s usual pompadour).  Despite that, however, the closer to the ruckus of the lazy town ball he got, the more anxious he was.

The sun was setting when he arrived at the venue. There was an outdoor concert stage with tables and chairs set up around it, on the stage a live band provided music. It was much more upscale than most of the festivities in Lazytown, so much so that the only thing that made Robbie sure he hadn’t stumble into the wrong party was the colors. The whole place was decorated in trademark pink and blue, they swam over the venue in bright translucent streamers and through the reflection of bulbous balloons. Even the band members were wearing one of the two colors as they played a jaunty tune.

Despite that, Robbie was surprised by how many people there were, people he hadn’t seen in years had apparently come back to Lazytown just for the annual event. Uncles, cousins, nephews and friends all met up with Lazytown residents to say hi and dance the night away. Apparently, if the small town was known for anything it was known for it’s ball.

The tall man fought the urge to frown as he looked around for his target. He saw the kids first, Stephanie in a knee length but gauzy pink dress with a matching pink shawl and hair ribbon. Pixel was nearby in pink and silver. Stingy looked to be wearing almost the same thing as always but somehow it looked… nicer? Was that glitter? Ugh anyways, Ziggy and Trixie were dressed a little less formal than their friends. Both of which probably because they intended to play around in the dirt but Trixie’s orange skirt and red blouse looked quite nice all things considered while Ziggy’s blue and red suit was a bold choice. Then, there was Sportacus.

Robbie’s eyes whipped up to see the hero in something other than his goofy superhero costume. Instead he was in a pair of silver dress shoes… navy blue dress pants, an all too thin navy blue suit jacket with a baby blue button up underneath and a silver bow tie. Strangest of all, however, was that his usual hat was replaced with a top hat that looked alot like Robbie’s except for the fact that it was blue and silver. Best of all (or should he say worst), was that it showed off a fistful of curly golden locks that Robbie didn’t even know could materialize in this world. If Robbie had eyes for anything other then running that elf out of town (for example if he wasn’t strong enough to resist that sportabootie) his jaw would have probably popped open. A thin laugh escaped him as he stopped looking at how… exotically dressed the elf was and instead payed attention to how much the elf fidgeted, he looked as if ants were in his suit. Robbie cleared his throat, it was his time to shine.

Sportacus was occupied with the kids who were simultaneously beginning to pull each other to the dance floor while practically tripping over themselves to talk with their hero when Robbie approached. The villain waited for them to stop chattering for just a moment to tap the hero on the shoulder. Sportacus almost gasped when he turned around, his cheeks slightly pink (Robbie figured because of the summer heat and discomfort of wearing something other than his monkey suit).

“Oh! Hello I don’t think we’ve met!” the elf blinked at him a few times as he looked him over.

Robbie smiled and drawled in a deeper voice than usual, “Oh no, we haven’t, but I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity.”

Folding at the waist whilst taking off his purple top hat he then looked up, “I’m Rodney Rodd”

Sportacus looked away as Robbie extended himself to his full height again, a small laugh seeping from his lips. Robbie smiled back but his eyes were behind the elf, at the spot where they kids had been but now were not--the children had left. Sportacus noticed too when he looked over his shoulder as if hopping one of them could save him.

“Ah, um, i’m Sportacus! It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Rodd--”

“Oh please, call me Rodney, Sportacus.”

The sun had set by now leaving nothing but fairy lights and reflections to brighten up Sportacus’ eyes. Still, Robbie noticed that they twinkled as brightly as they did in the sun.

“Well, Rodney, might I ask what made you notice me?”

“I noticed how your eyes kept wandering to the dance floor and I thought you might want to dance?” ,A smile was on Robbie’s lips by now, somehow playing pretend and staying in character as Rodney seemed so easy. Everything was going smoothly-he wasn’t even stuttering!

Sportacus looked away then back up at Robbie, there was still a bit of pink on his cheeks, “Yes, I do tend to get a bit antsy when i’m just standing. I’d be delighted to have you as my dance partner Rodney.”

“Splendid, let’s go then!” ,Robbie’s smile widened from the sweet thing it was a moment ago into something a bit more predatorial. He even chuckled lightly as he caught Sportacus’ arm with his own and swung him right onto the dance floor. 

A fast song was playing, some pop trash that the kids were wildly gyrating to when Robbie brought Sportacus to an empty bit of the dance floor right next to them. This wouldn’t necessarily be his first choice of song to unleash his dance moves on but it would still blow the socks off of those little punks.

Robbie looked Sportacus in the eye, and then moved his feet. His legs, his hips, his arms, Robbie went slowly so that Sportacus could see his movements and understand what they were going to do. Sportacus’ eyes seemed to go wide for a moment but soon his tongue was peeping out between his teeth as he gave a goofy smile and started bopping along too. 

Soon, when Robbie snapped left Sportacus snapped right, when Robbie stuck out his leg, Sportacus crossed it. The smile on the villain’s lips deepened as he realized that his nemesis could actually keep up. Robbie experimented, did he know that move? Yes he did. Could Sportacus do that? Oh wow  _ yes he could _ . Robbie could feel his jaw starting to hurt as the rhythm pumped into his chest and he looked into Sportacus’ eyes. He was about to admit that he was actually having a bit of fun until the kids, who were right next to them, stopped for a moment to cheer. 

“WOW! Sportacus!!” Robbie heard one of them say which only made the villain’s lips snapped into a frown. 

Sportacus?? Robbie glanced at them from the corner of his eye, fumbling slightly at hearing the hero being praised like that. Why were they cheering him on? It’s not like he was dancing alone. Robbie harrumphed a little but then he remembered what he was here for. Ah yes, he was here to run Sportacus out of town, not to have fun. 

Robbie tightened his lips as the song changed, the singer came on and announced, “Alright you wild young things, time to pair up, our mastro's got a bit of a slow song coming up to help cool you down on this hot summer day”

Sportacus who had been looking worried since Robbie had fumbled began to say, “Alright maybe we should take a brea-”

But that was as far as he got before Robbie took him by the wrists and swung him towards his chest. A smile lit up his face again, “Oh no, we’re just getting started.”

The elf seemed to go deer in the headlights still as Robbie turned to the kids, “Watch this kids, this is how real grownups dance.”

He then, took the opportunity to spin the unsuspecting elf around as the kids jumped back in surprise. Robbie could dance to pop, alright, but ballroom was his hidden ace.

The villain focused on his hero again, eyes a bit too intense for just a simple dance and began to guide them. The elf, to his defense, seemed to be following just fine. The world almost seemed to dim.

Right, left, right, box, he let go and Sportacus spun right back into his arms. Robbie threw in a few unorthodox moves, Sportacus followed through with a flair of his own.

Robbie’s father used to say you could learn a lot about someone by how they danced and right now Sportacus was telling Robbie that he was more than just a dumb blonde who ate too many apples and hung out with kids.

Robbie bit his lip as he glided across the dancefloor with the elf, testing the way his feet spoke, as he spun him into a dip. Then, they quickly moved back, feet crossing as they did childishly during one of the first pop songs, Robbie could feel the elf’s grip tighten on him and he squeezed back, pulling him closer then releasing him as they spun on the dancefloor. 

Suddenly, there was clapping. Robbie looked up at the same time as Sportacus. The two of them shared an equally bewildered expression as they noticed that much of the floor had cleared up and that the town was looking at them like they were professionals, clapping and whooping as if they had just got their money’s worth. Robbie didn’t really process what they were doing, only how hot his cheeks were, until the announcer laughed ‘alright you show offs how about we take it down a bit more and get a little slower.” The song changed and suddenly people were around them again, holding each other close.

Robbie and Sportacus looked at each other, Sportacus’ cheeks were bright red as he blinked up at his dance partner and then his lips split into a laugh, one that tossed his head back in a bundle of bouncing blonde curls. Robbie frowned a little bit as the elf pulled him closer.

“What? What’s so funny?” ,his anxiety was getting the best of him.

Sportacus looked at him as he readjusted his grip on Robbie’s waist, “Well, Rodney, I just realized I don’t even know you and yet you just gave me one of the best dances of my life.”

He blushed and looked away shrinking down slightly as Sportacus laughed again. Then, to his surprise, he felt something tickle his chin and felt breath on his ear, “Thank you Rodney, I really enjoyed that.”

He whipped his head around only to wish he hadn’t because there that apple munching fool was, looking up at him with bright eyes and rosy cheeks and Robbie realized how close they were and how firm Sportacus’ grip was and, and-

Robbie straightened up and stopped, distancing himself a bit as Sportacus’s eyebrows crinkled.

“I-um-uh” Robbie fumbled and looked at his wrist. He didn’t have a watch on but still he exclaimed, “AH! would you look at the time I need to be… going… uh goodbye sportacutie!!”

Robbie felt like he was going to pass out did he-did he just say cutie? His cheeks were on fire as he swiftly turned away and started to fast walk.

“Wait!”

But he was too fast. He could hear the elf approaching but quickly the road behind him turned silent as he ducked in between shortcuts and hidden passages... What had he done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have had this whole fic written out for the better part of three weeks, however, I wrote it at 3 am so it needs heavy editing and (at the time) I didn't have the energy to do that. I love this fic though and I hope to finish it soon.
> 
> Also, how do y'all feel about me inserting another song into this? I don't want to spoil it but one of these chapters seems more like a Moondance then you're gonna go far kid...  
> As for now, however, the chapter titles are gonna be lyrics from you're gonna go far kid
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it!!
> 
>  
> 
> Ps: Also i'm SO SORRY I don't know how to write dance scenes-i've never done it before-and i'm also trying to be vague instead of describing specific moves because I like to think that both Robbie and Sport are unorthodox dancers but,,, I feel like I did poorly. Bare with me alright hopefully the fluff will make up for it later on?


	3. And now you steal away, Take him out today!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie realizes his plan wasn't a total bust... until it is.

Robbie had a headache. It was probably from all the noise and sweat and lack of water yesterday but now, he had a headache. The villain groaned as his eyes fluttered open and he looked around his lair.  _ What had happened? _

Suddenly he was wide awake.

Robbie sat up so fast that he had to lay back down again with a high pitched  _ oooooowwwwww _ ; holding a hand to his hairline, helplessly, as everything came back to him at once.

The dance, the fairy lights, the music and Sportacus. Sportacus with his stupid mustache and twinkling eyes, his firm hands and pink cheeks--- _ eugh _ !

Robbie’s eyes fluttered open once again as he pouted towards his ceiling pipes. Everything had gone wrong. He should have pulled off his mask when everyone clapped. He could see it, the way it should've been, him jumping up in down in excitement and pointing at that damn elf as he shouted ‘look Sportacus can’t dance he can’t dance! Mr perfect is clumsier than a bucket of tuna do you really want him to save your kids?’ then, today he should be waving him off with a falsely sad smile and laughing in the children’s faces. But instead Sportacus was still here and wow he was,,,  _ he was _ ...

Robbie angrily rolled over at the expense of his head. Damn! Not only did his whole body ache but how was he supposed to know that Sportacus could not only dance but that he also…

It was quiet for a moment, Robbie fumed into his fluffy orange chair, curled up in a ball but then, he heard ruckus upstairs. Only, Robbie didn’t have an upstairs which meant that the kids were out and playing. Growling, he got up, he was trying to mope, couldn’t he  _ at least _ do that in peace?! Stomping to his periscope he narrowly avoided a concussion by flailing out of the way and then, grabbing on he popped it around town until he found the kids huddled around  _ He Who Shall Not Be Named _ in the park.

“Sportacus are you alright” ,pinky sassed with her hands on her hips.

“Yeah Sportacus you look so sad today what happened??” sippy said.

Although Robbie didn’t want to look he couldn’t help flicking his eyes up at the elf as he sighed, “Well, I guess i’m a little upset…”

“Is it because of that guy last night?” Trixie asked with an edge of sarcasm apparent in her tone.

Guy? Robbie made a who me motion before turning back to the periscope. Sportacus was nodding.

“Yeah I think it is…”

Robbie blinked, Sportacus was upset because of… him? What!?

Pinky sat down next to the big blue buffoon and put a hand on his shoulder, “Is it because he left so quickly?” 

Sportacus nodded and the idiot actually looked, really sad… Like really really sad, like his cat just died and he watched a vulture swoop down and start eating it kind of sad. He sighed, “Yes, I know his name but nothing else. I had a really good time last night and I just wish I could talk to him again! I hope I didn’t do anything wrong, he looked like I had offended him.”

Robbie scoffed, yes he had! Sportacus’ presence was an offense in and of itself!!

“Well Sportacus” Poodle pushed up his glasses, “According to my calculations we could probably find him for you!”

Sportacus looked up, “Really?”

“Yeah! Everyone who went either lives here, lived here, or knew someone who lives here, there were only a couple tens of people present and i’m sure the mayor might know most of the people who showed up.”

Sportacus blinked and sat up straighter, “Do you think we really could?”

Trixie punched her hand, “Yes! And then we can make him listen to your apology!”

Ziggy let out a yeah and Sportacus laughed, he started to say something else but that’s when Robbie let go of his periscope.

Eyes wide he looked around, what were they planning on doing? Finding Rodney Rodd? How were they supposed to do that! He didn’t even exist! For a moment, the esteemed villain was panicked but then he realized the genius in all of this! He lifted up a finger, “Wait! Rodney doesn’t exist!”

An evil grin crept onto his face as he started to rub his hands together, “That means, I can tell them that Rodney lives in a town far far away and if Sportacus really wants to see him again he has to go all the way there!”

Robbie laughed a villainous laugh and looked back at his periscope, “Genius! Genius!! This is even better than what I originally had planned!!”

Quickly, the villain went upside and found his way onto his favorite bench. With a ‘bored’ yawn he pulled out a newspaper and sat back, it was only a matter of time before one of them found him.

Half an hour passed and then Stingy showed up in his mini car. 

“Robbie!” ,he called.

The villain pretended to look surprised, “Yes little yellow boy?”

“Do you know someone named Rodney Rodd?”

Robbie had to fight a smile as he tapped his chin and hummed, “Ah yes! Yes I do know someone named Rodney, why do you ask?”

Stingy’s eyes widened like it was some sick combination of christmas and his birthday all at once, “Ah! Ah! Wait right there!! Guys guys!!”

Stingy began driving away at a comedically slow pace which was probably as fast as his little car could go.

A few moments later Sportacus flipped his way above Robbies head and in front of the spooked man. To his credit, Robbie didn’t have to act surprised when he threw his newspaper in the air and yelped.

“Robbie! I heard you know something about Rodney Rodd?”

Robbie jumped up about to throw some bitter complaint in the blue baboons face only to remember that he was talking to Sportacus, the same Sportacus who had leaned up to his ear last night and--

He looked away and cursed himself at the meek tone in his voice, “Yes?”

“That’s great Robbie!! I was wondering if you knew where to find him.”

Robbie grumbled something under his breath and leaned back, arms crossed.

“What was that Robbie?”

The man in question looked up only to feel his cheeks go red and then to look back down, he was so close yet…

“He lives out of the country!” ,Robbie blurted

“What?”

Robbie chanced a look up at Sportacus’ defeated tone to see that his face matched, he looked close to devastation. 

“Uhhh-o-oh I mean out of the city! Yes yes he lives near... by... in… uh…” Robbie mentally berated himself this was going terrible, absolutely terrible, “He lives in B…”

“Busy city?” Sportacus practically pounced.

Robbie held up a finger, “Ah yes, Busy city! He lives right over in Busy city!”

Sportacus nodded, looking thoughtful for once, “Alright”

“Alright?” Robbie leaned forward, what did he mean  _ alright _ ??

“Do you have a house address?”

“Woah woah woah! Slow down there Sporta-quick wait do you actually plan on visiting him?” Robbie’s heart was racing was this really his plan? To send Sportacus to some random house in some random town? What would happen when he realized it was all a lie!

Sportacus nodded and Robbie did a double take.

“Wait you can’t just, you can’t just…” Robbie floundered, searching for an excuse that would keep his nemesis in town.

“I can’t just what?”

“You can’t just walk into his home like that!” Robbie sprung back into a confident posture and pointed a finger in Sportacus’ face, “He’s a very private person he doesn’t like, uh, visitors! Yeah he hates when people come knocking on his door I can’t just give out his address!!”

Robbie was so proud of his excuse that he almost missed the disappointed look on Sportacus’ face.

“Oh well…”

Then Robbie started to feel bad, for some reason something in his stomach dropped as he looked at that elf’s pitiful face. He didn’t mean to make Sportacus feel so bad, he just wanted him out of town where he couldn’t bother strangers or make a ruckus that connected itself back to the villain!

Sportacus started walking away, his mustache drooping, looking defeated.

“Well, thanks Ro-”

“Wait.” 

Sportacus immediately perked up and Robbie sighed, placing his face in his hands, what was he doing.

“Maybe if… there was another dance… he would come back.” Robbie practically whispered

“Really?! You think so?” Sportacus was back in his face again, hope and excitement mixed on his face.

Robbie jumped back, “Y-yes! Of course! Rodney loves dancing he wouldn’t miss it for the worlds biggest piece of cake!”

“Biggest piece of cake?” Sportacus tilted his head

“Yes yes now, uh, run along, go plan another dance or something shoo shoo!” Robbie bended down to pick up his newspaper as Sportacus did exactly that, with a flip and a thanks Robbie was left alone.

“Ughhhh, what have I done…” ,Robbie collapsed into the bench behind him. Another dance, really? He had come outside to make Sportacus leave town forever now he had practically promised to dive right back into the elf’s little arms… to sway the night away and be held close by that little fucker. Goodness gracious he could feel his headache coming back to him all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I don't really have anything else to say about this other then I quiet like exaggerating Robbie and Sportacus in the ways this fic lets me?? Like i'm allowed to make Robbie curse... i'm allowed to make Sportacus into a dumb blonde wow how amazing
> 
> Thanks for reading and all the nice comments I really appreciate them!!


	4. Well it's a marvelous night for a Moon Dance with the stars shining up above

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Purple balloons, broken plans, maybe Robbie was the one who never had a chance.

Planning another dance is exactly what Sportacus did, Robbie learned from bits and pieces he caught around town. For two weeks Sportacus and the brats thought about decorations, invitations, costumes and music. for two weeks Robbie slunk around town too afraid to even scheme because of the upcoming dance.

Now, that date was today and Robbie found himself in that same crushed velvet suit unsure if this was the right thing to do. Grimacing, he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Ugh! This is stupid I should just skip!” ,he groaned like a teenager being dragged out of bed.

But if he skipped then what? The blue elf would come down looking like a kicked puppy wondering why his new best friend didn’t show up. 

“But what happens when I show up?” Robbie said as he smeared some eyeshadow on his lids.

Well, most likely, Robbie would be bombarded with questions! Both Sportacus and the kids would wonder who Rodney was, where he lived, what he did and a ton of other idiotic things that Robbie neither had answers for nor wanted to answer!

Robbie groaned as he turned away from the mirror. He looked back, one last time. “I’m going to regret this aren’t I?”

His reflection said yes.

Walking to the same venue as before did help him come up with some sort of a plan however. That didn’t ease his nerves but it did allow him to coordinate himself for what he saw when he walked back.

They had changed alot of things. This time, the dance was held inside at the mayor’s house of all places-and later at night too, it was dark before Robbie arrived to peak inside and around the house. Things were clearly a lot more casual because really the only people there were The mayor, mrs busybody, a few parents, and the kids. From what he could see through the window, most of them weren’t in their party clothes either. Sportacus, pinky, and the adults looked to be the only ones dressed up actually. Decorations also were more sparse and were now purple instead of blue or pink. On the plus side, the snacks looked more to Robbie’s liking and the backyard which would serve as the main dance floor led into a small grove with trees and bushes. Robbie would remember that for when he needed to make a fast cinderella get away.

The tall man sighed as he balled up a fist to knock on the door but, before he could even let it land the thing swung open and there was trixie giving him a devilish grin.

“Look Sportacus!! It’s Rodney!!”

Suddenly there were too many people too fast, all the kids and Sportacus were right at the door and even mrs busybody was poking her head out! Robbie stumbled back a step, overwhelmed and unable to hide it even in disguise. People had never crowded him like this before! Was Rodney really that popular?

Sportacus, ever vigilant, quirked his eyebrows up and pushed through the crowd, he put a hand on Robbie’s shoulder, “Hey guys, could I have a word alone with him?”

Stingy (or maybe it was ziggy) awwed but then Sportacus added, “We will be back in a moment!” and stephanie pushed them back in the house.

When the door shut Robbie breathed out a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding. Sportacus patted his shoulder.

Robbie cleared his throat, “Ehh… thanks.”

He took a step away and looked awkwardly at the hero, so how was this going to work, what kind of words were going to be exchanged?

Sportacus smiled up at him, “I was hoping you’d show up Rodney!”

“Yeah well, I heard there was another dance.” Robbie tried to look at the elf but had to avert his eyes upon being over come with a sense of awkwardness. Why? Well, he didn’t want to think about it.

Sportacus cleared his throat, “I’m sorry Rodney.”

That made the villain look at him, “Sorry? About what?”

The hero blinked, “Well I figured I did something wrong since you left so hurriedly last time.”

“What no you didn’t!” 

“Oh?”

“Yeah…” Robbie realized he was boxing himself in and awkwardly coughed.

“Um Rodney” Sportacus hesitated

“Yes?” Robbie feared the worst.

“Would you like to dance again?” 

“Oh, okay.”

Then, they danced.

Somehow, it felt simpler then last time. Robbie wasn’t here to show off and no one was really there to watch, the kids did for a bit but they also danced themselves and got distracted with other small games. Really, Robbie and Sportacus just danced for the sake of dancing. Sportacus didn’t ask any questions, Robbie didn’t initiate conversation. It was somehow peaceful.

Robbie had expected more questions, he had expected Sportacus to be jumping down his throat or putting his lips to his ear like he had last time but instead it seemed the elf truly did just want to dance. He was respecting ‘Rodney’s’ privacy, not trying to show off or act like the usual blue buffon he was, not trying to get too close. Simply, holding him for the sake of the song, dancing with him to what ever songs the kids put on their over sized pink stereo.

The night wrapped up quickly and before long Robbie and Sportacus could tell that they were overstaying their welcome. The kids were beginning to yawn, the mayor even looked like he was about ready for bed, and mrs busybody had long ago excused herself to do something or other in side the house. Still, they danced atleast for once last song, slow and swaying. The song ended but the two hesitated to pull apart. when they did Sportacus looked up at Robbie almost pleadingly and practically whispered, “Wait here, please”

Robbie didn’t want to, he had a bad feeling about it, but he was too relaxed to even grumble in protest. Dancing had dumbed him down and all he could do was stare as the  hero then turned back to the kids and started telling them it was time to go home. He then turned to the mayor, said a few words too far away for the villain to hear, and waved every body on before going back to Rodney.

“Rodney, would you care to go for a walk?”

Robbie knew he probably should refuse but before he could think he said yes. There was just something so dream like about how Sportacus asked, something so subdued and calm. It wasn't like him and Robbie possibly wanted to know why that was. Arm in arm, just like that first time Robbie had pulled him on the dance floor, Sportacus pulled Robbie away from the Mayor’s house, into town.

They walked quietly for a while but then Sportacus brought them to the bushes, where a path was already well walked, he dove in and it was dark. For a moment, Robbie was nervous, what if he tripped or let go of Sportacus? He held onto Sportacus’ hand on instinct, terrified of the sudden bushy darkness and hating the nature for what it was but then, they were out of the tree cover again and into a small clearing where the moon reflected off the grass like glass. A bench was there, it looked unsafe to sit on and neglected but Sportacus sat down with out hesitation. Robbie hesitantly sat down next to him.

“Sportacus I-”

“Would it be alright if I contacted you in the future?”

Robbie looked at him with wide eyes.

Sportacus almost looked embarrassed, “I’m not usually one to ask for numbers and addresses but there’s something about you Rodney, maybe it’s because you dance so well but I just really want to see-”

“Sportacus, I can’t.”

The elf blinked, for a moment there was something akin to hope in his eyes, as he began confessing his thoughts, but then it was crushed but Rodney’s three simple words. “Why not?”

“I…” Robbie looked away and sighed heavily. Of all the stupid things he had done this was the worst, coming out to dance a second time had been a mistake, “I can’t. I can’t give you an address or a phone number because it wasn’t supposed to end up like this.”

“End up like this?”

Robbie freezed up and looked towards Sportacus.

A moment passed, and then two then Sportacus gave him a small smile. 

“It’s okay… I think. I understand, if I can’t see you again then how about we just enjoy this moment.”

Robbie was still staring at him but for some reason he wanted to believe that it was that simple. So he nodded.

So they sat, side by side, until Sportacus was too tired to sit next to him any longer, drifting off to sleep on Robbie’s shoulder. The villain didn’t wake him at first, insted taking in those golden locks in the moonlight and the peaceful expression on Sportacus’ face like a thief in the night. But eventually he shook him awake and excused himself, all things had to come to an end even if they did so with a glance backwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really edited, sorry I haven't written fanfiction in literally 10 months lol  
> enjoy?


	5. And Drifting Closer in your Sights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orange chair? More like old benches am I right

Time passed and seasons changed. For a while, Robbie contemplated that night and whenever he did he softened. His expression dreamy, his knees wobbly. It was disgusting really so he tried to ignore it whenever he could. And Sportacus, the poor elf, seemed a little less into things as he usually was but one thing lead to the next and the two of them got back into the swing of things. Robbie would pull a big scheme that almost hurt or killed someone, Sportacus would save the day. Sportacus and the kids would play too loudly, Robbie would think up another trick. It was simple, nice. Still, however, they had their moments.

Robbie would be playing music in his lair while working and a song that Sportacus had danced with him to would come on or, he’d be in the middle of a jig and stop himself because of the memories of dancing in that elf’s arms.

Sportacus would look at the moon or go to that benched grove in the woods and think about the masked man who got away. Sighing deeply but complacent with his promise to let him have his own corner of the world.

That was the extent of their musings until one moonlit night when Robbie was walking back from a grocery run. The moon was almost completely full and the night was chilly with crisp autumn air. The leaves around him were orange and dry; Robbie uncharacteristically wore a big maroon turtleneck with a warm red stripe in it. But, through the rustling of the leaves Robbie heard something else in the trees. At first, the man thought it was just his imagination but it kept getting louder and louder then quieter as he kept walking in the direction he was going. He passed right by what ever it was. Robbie stopped, he might have ignored it if not for the fact that it sounded so… familiar. Robbie huffed and looked for a source. He found a well walked path and although he didn’t immediately recognize it… it also sounded familiar. His pride wouldn’t allow him to admit it out loud but he almost turned back; what if he tripped and no one found him, what if he got lost? 

The similar reaction he had to the path should have tipped him off but he stayed ignorant until, finally, the lanky man broke through the small path into a grove with a neglected bench and grass like mirrors. That was when he remembered that night several months ago, a memory he had almost successfully drowned out; however instead of the place matching his memory there was a blue cd player on the bench and an equally blue sports elf looking at him wide eye, mid twirl.

Sportacus quickly adjusted himself, “Ah Robbie! What are you doing here?”

Robbie wanted to frown or look unimpressed but the best he could manage was a furrowed brow, “I should be asking you the same thing Sportaflop, isn’t it past your bed time?”

Atleast he had the decency to look sheepish as he rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah I guess so but I couldn’t sleep…”

Robbie harrumphed and crossed his arms.

“How did you find this place, I thought I was the only one who knew about it.”

Robbie shrugged, “Your music was loud.”

“Really, Ah sorry i’ll turn it down” The sports elf went to his cd player but just as he got his hand on it Robbie blurted out a ‘wait!’

Sportacus looked up.

“Is that um… Scott joplin?”

Sportacus quirked a brow, “Yeah?”

“I didn’t think you were into Rag Sportadance.”

“To tell you the truth,” Sportacus said turning down the volume ever so slightly (but leaving it on), “Classical is a bit too slow for me but rag time is okay.”

“Oh really bec-” Robbie cut himself off with a wince, his snarky mouth almost gave himself away. He was lucky to catch the ‘because that’s not what your feet were telling me at the ball’ before it came out. But still, this was bad, he should walk away immediately, he was snarky by default. He couldn’t contain it forever! Clearing his throat he walked up to the elf and looked through the other cds he had, silently. 

“Oh really because,” Robbie started again, voice a little lower than before, “I find it hard to believe considering you have this cd here.”

If it wasn’t so dark Robbie might have seen Sportacus blush but, thankfully, he was able to poignantly ignore that and instead look at the twinkle in his eyes. They were so bright despite it being so dark.

“I’m trying to get a bit more into it…”

Robbie smirked a little bit and grabbed the cd player.

“Robbie what are you-”

Changing the cd to the classical one, the villain sat down, spreading himself out on the bench and looked up at the elf, “Well Sportacus, get into it.”

He received a look like he was crazy”

“Well go on” Robbie shooed the man, “Pretend i’m not here, do whatever you were before I came here Sportaflip.”

“Okay Robbie…”

Sportacus turned back to the middle of the clearing and gave Robbie a hesitant look. Robbie raised an eyebrow and Sportacus stared him down for a second before slipping his eyes closed then, he danced. Gracefully he moved his arms and bent his legs, his chest rose and fell as he paced in the small clearing covered in moonlight. Trees were his backdrop, the grass his stage and if Robbie didn’t know better he could have called Sportacus an Air nymph, riding through the autumn breeze. He was breathtaking even when dancing alone and although Robbie had meant to find something to criticize, he couldn’t.

That is, until he started getting impatient. The elf lost the beat of the song, throwing in moves that weren’t necessary, messing up the rhythm and beauty in his movements. Sportacus did a particularly flashy move that landed in a split after several twirls before he seemed to remember Robbie was there. He had peeked at the villain once or twice before but after such a big move the hero looked jarred to see the other man intently watching him and he stood up rigidly.

“Ah Robbie is everything alright you’re kind of-”

“No sportacus, everything isn’t alright don’t you know what the title of this song is?” Robbie tone was a bit harsher than warranted, “It’s a moonlight seranade not a flippity floppity flashy dance show.”

The villain stood up, his back popping once or twice as he approached the wide eyed elf, his passion for dance getting the best of him, “You really aren’t good with slow songs, come here.”

Forgetting what was at stake Robbie took Sportacus’ hand and waist, squaring up to him like he would an unlearned child. 

“But Robbie you don’t da-”

Robbie cut him off by starting a box. Forward left forward right back left… they went briskly then slower until they were back to the beat of the song. 

“There now, lets add the moonlight.” Robbie said in an uncharacteristically soft voice that made Sportacus stare up at him.

He led him into a twirl and a twist, a dip and a lift and there the two were, dancing like they had been when Robbie was called Rodney.

It felt amazing, perfectly right like Robbie was meant to dance with a short hyperactive sports elf until they slowed down and a cold breeze hit them. Robbie shivered and Sportacus pulled him closer, “Are you cold?”

“No” The villain lied; and then they hero tentatively rested his head on Robbie’s chest. The villain almost pulled away while doing a double take but instead he let it be as the two started to sway. He.. liked the warmth of Sportacus’ cheek on his chest, the way he could feel him breathing under him and how those strong muscles were so liquid as he fully relaxed against his chest. He shouldn’t like that, he knew, but the reason why was beginning to sound hollow, feel distant, unimportant.

A few moments passed before Sportacus spoke up again.

“Robbie would you be honest with me if I asked you a question?”

“Probably not, what is it?”

“Are you… Rodney Rodd?” Sportacus asked in a small voice.

Robbie was silent for a second too long, contemplating how dense the elf really was and maybe what would happen if he told the truth before he snorted, “No, that’s my friend Sportanumb, he lives in a different city remember?”

Sportacus looked up with a frown that made Robbie want to laugh but all too quickly it was replaced with a sly smile, “What ever you say ‘Robbie’ ”

“Hey don’t say my name like that!”

“Alright… ‘Robbie’”.

Sportacus laughed but Robbie was not impressed.

Eventually, the song ended, the magic faded and nothing more was said of Rodney. What ever was left unsaid that had been heard wasn’t mentioned again and the two parted ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, barely edited  
> all of this is prewritten from a 3 am ramble last year i'm cleaning it up a bit but I lost most of the passion so uhh?? Probably not as spicy as I wanted it to be   
> regardless y'all got two updates in one night so, praise ;^)


	6. It was Really Only You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat's out of the bag and of course the puppy wants to play.

A couple of days had passed since Robbie had caught Sportacus in the woods and he still hadn’t gotten the courage to go outside again. Sure, it had been fun but he was a stupid man for letting the moment get the best of him. Fun? With Sportacus? The fact that he enjoyed anything that his nemesis did was a mistake! Most of all his disguise! Rodney! He had practically unmasked himself, what an idiot!

Still, Robbie had never actually gotten groceries three days ago when he needed them and as much as he would have loved to live off of stale flourless cake…

Robbie sighed, it was time to be responsible for once.

He made it through town without much trouble. It was nearing sunset so no one was really outside, infact Robbie had assumed Sportacus had sent the kids home until he heard an awfully jaunty tune coming from the park. The villain crouched low and sneaked up to peer over a wall. Bing bang was playing and Sportacus and the kids were dancing along to it. For a moment, Robbie felt like he had been dunked in cool water. There the elf was, swinging his arms and feet as if he was in the middle of an exercise routine. Did he really call that dancing?

Robbie was a bit peeved to see the elegant man who could dance like a phoenix using his moves in such away but then something gave Robbie pause. If you squinted hard enough, Sportacus almost seemed to be dancing with that same grace. There was definitely something there even if it was dolled up with factitious enthusiasm.

“Alright kids, it’s time to go!” Sportacus called, Jolting Robbie back into his predicament. Ah yes, he still had some grocery stopping to do.

The kids started flitting away just as Robbie began sneaking off, still crouching behind the wall, only for that flippity blue sports elf to do a double backflip over that same wall and slam into Robbie. The two tumbled to the ground with a “manly” scream (aka high pitched screech) from the villain, he ended up on his back spread out and relatively unhurt while Sportafool somehow ended up planking over the disheveled man looking surprised.

They looked at each other, faces close and bewildered, for a moment too long until Robbie groaned and somehow managed to rub his head through the tangle of limbs and Sportacus quickly sat up, rolling away to kneal next to the villain.

“O-oh Robbie! I’m so sorry I ddin’t see you there! Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Robbie sat up, “No you blithering blue babboon, unless you count a concussion to be pain.”

“Robbie!”

The villain sneaked a glance over, “What, I was only joking sportaflip, you’re the one who landed on me!”

Sportacus atleast had the sense to look down slightly ashamed before standing up and offering a hand. Robbie impolitely ignored it and stood up with a hand on his creaking back.

“Oooffff it seems every time I leave my lair you find some way to make it worse.”

“I’m sorry Robbie…” Sportacus looked almost a little sad at hearing the villain spit his usual venom.

Robbie looked at him like he’d grown a second head. This was normal, usual, why did he look so defeated about it?

“Ugh what ever sportaclop I have groceries to buy.” ,and then he started walking off.

However, a few blocks down the line Robbie could still hear Sportacus following him; turning around abruptly he stuck out an accusatory finger.

“What do you want Sportapest!”

Sportacus looked like he was about to pout after the initial shock rubbed off his face, “Well I…”

“You? What Sportastutter I don’t have all day!” ,he sounded a bit harsh even to his own ears but, well, what else was he to say! Just because Sportacus was acting weird didn’t mean he should join in on the crazy show!

And then it came out all at once unexpected and too much, “I can’t stop thinking about dancing with you.” Sportacus looked up with hopeful eyes, “I’ve never danced with anyone like that; you’re just so talented Robbie! I want to dance with you again, even if it’s to the slowest song in the world or no music at all, Please Robbie do you think we could dance again?”

The villain was overwhelmed with the sudden confession. He was torn between a sneer, a frown and a grimace-all of which broke out on his face at the same time to form something akin to a broken smile. Had he… had the elf really been so caught up on that. Sure, he had been fun, and although Robbie would DENY it (even to himself) he had day dreamed about it too but… to say it like that? It was enough to make Robbie want to stomp away, then he got an idea.

“Slowest song in the world you say?”

  * \- - - --



“Uh Robbie your record sounds broken.”

“Hush sportadunce, I set it up like that.”

Robbie stood infront of the hero, both were wearing their usual clothes and they were in the middle of Robbie’s lair. In the background the soft crackle of an old song was playing out so slow that the record player regularly gurgled as if it didn’t know what else to fill the empty space with. Sportacus gave it a look.

“Alright Robbie…”

The hero then walked up to meet the villain, preparing to dance. The two met after giving each other a long look. Robbie’s eyes looked like a raven’s, sizing up it’s prey while sportacus looked like a happy puppy, excited to finally play.

This dance was different not only in how they looked each other but also because of how it felt. The awkward crackle of deadair between notes cut out the chance for sportacus or robbie to do anything extroverted with their moves. Instead they held each other close and, as the seconds wore on, Robbie could feel Sportacus beginning to fidget.

They both were tense, this wasn’t the dance Sportacus had been asking for.

The hero looked up at Robbie, who was gazing distantly at something in his lair, deciding to fill the air with something other then movement since Robbie obviously wasn’t going to.

“Robbie?” he asked “Why did you wear a mask to the ball, the kids would have loved to see you dance just for you.”

Robbie tensed, this wasn’t the dance he had been looking for either.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sportacow.”

“Well, why don’t you ever dance infront of the kids, you’re so talented Robbie.”

“Ha! They wouldn’t appreciate fine art and dancing if it hit them in the face. They’d probably be horrified to see their hero dancing so slowly.” Robbie quirked an eyebrow with a smirk.

It was a normal expression for the villain but Sportacus looked away quickly, as if Robbie’s eyes were cutting him. This caused him to raise an eyebrow.

“Why did you want to find Rodney so badly anyways?”

Now it was Sportacus’ turn to stiffen, “Well I… I wanted to dance again!”

“Uh-uh that’s why you asked him for his number and address?”

“How would you know that if you aren’t Rod-”

“Sh!” Robbie suddenly hissed, causing the elf to jump, “Hush up this is the best part!”

Sportacus opened his mouth to protest only for the unexpected to happen, the mostly dead record playing sadly from the corner began to pick up speed. The long space between notes began to eat themselves up until the meter of the song sounded almost normal. Sounded almost beautiful. In pop songs, sportacus had heard something similar but they were cheap comparisons to the rich notes present in the hidden pocket of the record. If the record was playing at full speed this would have probably been the fastest part, the notes tripping over themselves but here each one rung out and shown like a sparkling pearl. Apparently, Robbie hadn’t just been putting on a broken record to torture the elf.

Sportacus stopped, he was unable to dance.

The moment passed and Robbie looked at Sportacus, scoffing while muttering something under his breath about how Sportacus really did have two left feet. He then let go and turned off the record.

“Robbie, that was beautiful.”

“I know” The villain replied and then they simply watched each other. The tension between them, the unspoken words, the things they now knew about each other and the wants that translated into was practically unbearable. It was so stifling, so thick, you could cut it with a butter knife.

Robbie was the first to clear his throat, with the intention of telling Sportacus he should get his Sportabutt out before it was kicked, but then Sportacus spoke first.

“I think I fell in love.”

Robbie shivered as if he was in an electric chair, “What?”

Sportacus nodded and went to sit on a stool by one of Robbie’s work benches.He didn’t look directly at the villain but his expression was coy, sad but coy.

“Yeah, I think I fell in love with Rodney’s grey eyes.” The elf leaned his head on his fist, “And the way he moved his feet. Elves fall in love with in only a matter of seconds you know.”

Robbie blinked, trying to back track from what Sportacus was actually saying and hanging onto the smallest detail, “Wait so does that mean an elf could fall in love with a hot dog vendor on first sight.”

Sportacus laughed harder then he should, “Yes but, usually there would be a connection first.”

Robbie didn’t know what to say. There was Sportacus melting into a sportadunce puddle on his work desk, looking at him with twinkling eyes and a dimpled mouth, he looked so calm so content just by looking at Robbie. Why was he being so honest? Why now? Didn’t he know this wasn’t the way things went? Villians and heros… they...

“Ah um…” Robbie coughed and busied himself by rubbing his hands together, “Well I hope they fall out of love just as quick because I don’t think Rodney’s coming back.”

“I know.” Then Sportacus got up.

Robbie put up his hands, a few incoherent complaints stringing out of his lips as he tried to keep Sportacus to explain himself, stop walking closer, stop being an idiot but before a solid excuse could completely coagulate the elf’s hand was on his hip and the other was intertwining with his fingers.

“W-what are you doing?!” Robbie said, his voice cracking and his cheeks coloring as Sportacus began stepping even closer.

“I also said i’d dance with out music didn’t I?”

Robbie could only nod slowly, his mouth dry and his eyes wide, quivering underneath Sportacus’ touch as they began to dance again. Only this time, Sportacus was leading and Robbie felt confused. He almost tripped over himself in the beginning, not because he was so bewildered (totally not) but because he had never really followed before.

Sportacus’ way of dancing, even with out music, could never be described as boring. Maybe the elegant way he floated when alone in those woods or when Robbie was leading wasn’t his real style because now Sportacus’ moves seemed more akin to the enthusiasm present when he bing banged. It was slow enough for Robbie and intimate in some way the taller man was trying to ignore but opposed to the ways he gracefully and steadily moved all those times before, it was flashy (and not in a way the villain minded). Robbie felt blown away but somehow enraptured at the same time.

Sportacus finally slowed to a stop with a last mischievous look up at Robbie before he laid his head contently on the taller man’s chest, a deep smile etched into his features. Robbie’s heart was beating like a jackhammer and his head was mush. The calm that had over taken him when Sportacus had pressed his ear to his chest wasn’t replicated instead he was panicking. Of course, had to ruin it.

“Thank you Ro-”

“I wanted to run you out of town.”

Sportacus might have stiffened slightly as he looked up, confused at his words and at how Robbie was suddenly looking distantly around his lair again, devoid of any emotion. This was too much for him, he felt drained. Why was he telling the truth? Was it because Sportacus had? No that was stupid right?

“What?”

“Rodney Rodd was a disguise to get you out of town.” Robbie took a deep breath, “The kids were talking about how great of a dancer you were and how excited they were to see you dancing at the ball. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and then one of them had the audacity to say that I couldn’t dance or, if I could it was just because everyone could.”

“Oh Robbie…”

But Robbie wasn’t making room for pity as he stormed on, pulling himself away from Sportacus so he could gesticulate with wild eyes, “So I thought that i’d show them, i’d show them that I was a great dancer. So great in fact that it’d embarrass you and you’d have no choice but to leave town or have to stand by while everyone laughed at you and your two left feet. I put on a disguise so that no one would know it was me until the last moment but then you… you surprised me.”

Robbie was looking at him now, but he seemed more pained then anything else to be sharing this, “What did you say about my eyes?”

“That I… fell in love with them?” ,Sportacus didn’t know where this was going.

Robbie was still for a moment but then he gave a single nod. What was he doing?

Robbie’s voice was tiny, “I’ve always been in love with yours Sportacus. Dancing just reminded me of that.”

Sportacus’ breath hitched but Robbie was done with all that mushy shit. Turning away with a distasteful sniff he fell down to his fluffy orange chair, curling into it immediately.

“Robbi-” the hero breathed when he was finally able to process what had happened.

“No, go on, as I said then it wasn’t meant to be like this. Shoo, get out of my lair before I pull out a taffy wad or something you pest” Robbie barely even looked up. He was angry, at himself, at sportacus, at everything.

“Robbie,” Sportacus tried again and stepped closer, they were only a few feet away now, “We both like each other so why can’t it be like this?”

God like? He had technically just admitted that but the word felt too real, too solid.

“I’m not good enough for you, you’re bound to get bored of me. I don’t dance in front of others or play sports or eat your sickly perversion of _candy_. I sleep all day and eat whole cakes in one sitting. We can’t keep stealing dances forever if it’s no longer thievery.”

Sportacus looked sad, unsure what to address how, “But Robbie it’s not… we could…”

“No.”

“Robbie,” Sportacus’ tone was firm, “We could make it work. So what if we’re different. We still like each other, that comes from something right?”

An almost convincing argument but Robbie wasn’t in the mood, “Sportacus aren’t you listening to me, we just can’t work. Why are we even talking about this? I’m not worth your time. I’m just a villain and at most you’re my hero. End of story, nothing else matters.”

Sportacus moved around so that he was infront of Robbie and leaned over, with either hand on an arm of the chair, boxing him in, “No Robbie, what means something to me is the sweet man i’m looking at right now. Yes we have our differences but you can also dance the night away with out looking for an audience, build many creative and wonderful machines in a matter of days, fool me with beautiful disguises, and light up a room with your smile and sparkling grey eyes.”

Robbie was quiet. That was… more then he was expecting.

“Robbie, I’ll never get bored of a man like that. I don’t think I can.”

Robbie was quiet.

Sportacus was looking at him so intently when he started to lean in. His shadow, slowly swallowed Robbie until their faces were only an inch apart, Robbie’s eyes were wide open, he felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He didn’t want this but, when Sportacus stopped, hesitated and pulled back just a tiny bit as if trying to think better of it, Robbie did. He slid a hand into those curly blonde locks and kissed him.

Sugary sweet and apple tinted lips blended together, eventually Sportacus climbed onto Robbies lap, eventually Robbie’s hands found a ticklish spot, ruining the kiss quicker then bad breath, eventually they fell asleep.

In many ways things wouldn't be the same as they were before Rodney swept the town off of it's feet but in many ways it was. The banter continued, the lack of life style changes persisted on both ends, but occasionally music could be heard coming from Robbie's lair or the woods late at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was going to be a short epilogue but I just edited into this chapter/didn't think it was important enough to spend time editing and posting! I'd rather just get this fic over with!  
> This was a wild ride, a blast to work on and my only regret is not finishing it sooner!  
> Thank's for sticking around!!


End file.
